Advertising Space for Sale...in my head

I have bitched about this before, but here goes. Skippy's Peanut Butter Bar commercial needs to choose a damn theme. Either it's reggae, CGI, or elephants, but we simply cannot have all three. When did elephants get into reggae? Apparently, these elephants grow their dreads long, put them up in meshy hats, and eat peanut butter, which is all irie, but did the advertising people just give up on this making any sense? I can see the correlation with the peanut-elephant thing, but elephants listening to dance hall, well, that's just silliness.

Worst of all, I think the song is great.

Second, the Kellogg's low carb cereal commercial. It says, "it has 9 net carbs that taste better than 9 net carbs have any right to!" When did carbs get rights? I really ought to watch myself; I might have infringed upon the civil liberties of a carbohydrate unknowingly, and I certainly don't want any conflict between myself and the carb watchdog groups, the carb-friendly media, or the carb lobbyists.

I'm on personification patrol; Kellogg's better watch out!

Incidently, the low carb cereal from Kellogg's contains high-fructose corn syrup. It's supposed to counter act that with high fiber, thus the "9 net carbs". Yeah, high-fructose corn syrup will not make you fat if you just eat it with a lot of fiber. If you believe that, then I have a rasta elephant for sale. Please, he needs a good home.

I am not much of a scrapper, but these advertising groups and I are going to throw down. I'm taking them on, and then it's me versus high-fructose corn syrup. I'm assuming Bill Maher will join my ranks. Yep, just me and Bill Maher. And my friends, the rasta elephants. Respect.