Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Thursday, August 09, 2007


I am in full sloth mode. While my chores have been getting done (thank you motivatedmoms.com), I have logged some SERIOUS gaming hours on Oblivion. That's a Xbox 360 game for those of you who need a geek translator.

Anyway, while doing chores and crossing them off of my guilt list (Clean out car, Check, clean bedspread, check check, clean couch cover, thank god check), I had on the Celebrity Jeopardy. Most days I feel as though I am chiseling the sides of the bin to scrape together enough brain power to remember how to tie my shoes, but celebrity Jeopardy has a way of making me feel like a fucking genius. I was clearing every category (Take THAT Susan Lucci), and with my new found self-esteem, I got a little snotty about when the other celebs missed the answers. Enter Paul Shaffer. He must have a load of assistants who tell him when to exhale and blink, plus another one that reminds him to open his eyes again after. Holy shit-pie on dumb-stilts, Batman.

I literally snorted water when he responded to the answer "It is easier for a 'blank' to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."


"What is an elephant?"

I don't care how secular you are, surely you have seen a TV once. Or read a...never mind.

I was imagining elephants in Judea for that little live TV gaff.

I don't remember who won the most for their charity, but I am sure whichever sad children are waiting for donations from the Paul Shaffer fund were yelling at their TV screens simultaneously screaming "Camels! It's Camels and you just lost double Jeopardy! Sorry, Lucy, no crutches for you this year."

Go back to Letterman, and hang your head, Paul. I'm pretty sure that David unplugged Paul's keyboard ten years ago but doesn't have the heart to tell him.


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