Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

If it's not nailed down...

...it's probably at a Russian pawnshop. This is, by far, the most negative story I have about New York. This is worse than the neighborhood Doberman owner not picking up after his dog, leaving lovely Zeus droppings for the rest of the block (Zeus is the name of the dog, but it also refers to the size of the present.)

Okay, so I go to my car to drive to Long Island for my evening meeting on Monday. I get there, and I see that my passenger side mirror has been removed. Not shattered, not hit, not dangling within an inch of its life, removed. This was a calculating crime. The connectors to the mirror motors were still intact. The glass had simply gone to a better place.

Now here's why that pisses me off.

About 9 months ago, I was happily driving over to meet a friend for dinner after work. We chose to meet in a spot that was between both of our workplaces, and in order to get there, I had to take a back road. This backroad is a fine path, nothing wrong with it, but the day I drove there, there was a giant flock of Canadian Geese sitting by the curb. As I rounded the corner, they got all pissed off and started flapping. Then they started flying towards my car. I thought they would have the sense to not fly into me, but not so much. One flew directly into my car, and shattered the passenger mirror. It was dangling there, held on by its connectors. I was a little too bumfuzzled to process the incident.

I arrived at the restaurant, examined the damage, and went in to tell my friend Joni what had happened. Face aghast, she cried, "Oh my God! Is the goose okay?" Incredulous, I replied, "Is the goose okay? Is the FUCKING GOOSE OKAY?!?! I hope not, because if it is, I'm going back there to drive over it a couple of times, is the fucking goose okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When I started looking for a way to repair the mirror, I found out that in my specific make and year of car, they only sell the entire mirror assembly as one solid unit. And that solid unit, my friend, costs $400.

As a "hooray for getting into grad school" present, my parents paid to restore my car. They repainted it, fixed the engine, and had the entire passenger mirror replaced.

Then this happens, and I lose the mirror I just paid for. I'll bet this time it was a seagull. And I'll bet he was a professional.


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