BINGO!

Attribute it to being a responsible, albeit naive adult, but I had no idea that STD testing involved a full pelvic exam of my lady place.

I went to the STD clinic in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I had my HIV testing last week (all good), but I got there too late in the day to get my full grossness test. So, New Boyfriend and I went today. It was a complete shock to me that the gonorrhea and chlamydia test would involve semi-nudity. My doctor was a small Hispanic man who wore a black driving cap. He had one of those mustaches that has no hair in the middle of the upper lip. It was so distracting that I kept giving him the wrong answers regarding my sex history. I was like, "Um...April...wait, last year....wait....anal? Umm....What? "

Then he was like, " get undressed from the waist down." Mi scuzza?

Having a pelvic is like having your car jacked up....you're not used to seeing it in such proportions or heights. It's mind boggling.

Because I didn't understand that the pelvic was coming, it was like a drive-by pelvic. I couldn't stop laughing when I was coming out of the room. Get control Jessica. Just because you just showed your BINGO card to a Dominican...well, there you go.

Anyway, if you find PAP smears funny, this stuff was comedic gold!