Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

What's Not Allowed

New Boyfriend and I spent most of today shirking our responsibilities. The sound of the shirking could be heard 'round the tri state area. It was great.

Anyway, today our shirking lead us to Union Square, where we spent too much money on CDs. He had to go back to Brooklyn to do some work, so I spent the rest of the afternoon lolling around the square, shopping and whatnot. I got on the subway to head home in the early evening.

I was sitting on the L, minding my business (which is tough to do, sans iPod), and a homeless guy walked around our car in between stops to tell the captive riders his soliloquy about how we should give him some money. I was sitting by this girl who looked like k.d. lang's stylist from the 80's. She had one of those trendy girl mullets, an A-line cotton knee length skirt with a crinoline petticoat (completely wrinkled), and a crappy t-shirt, complete with green Goodyear wrestling shoes. It was the kind of hipster outfit that Williamsburgians choose to look bizarre and random, but in reality, she probably crinkled her skirt the night before by crunching it in between her Smiths albums and "The Bell Jar". I admire that kind of organized messiness, which is completely distinct from actual messiness (read: Guy in sweaty shirt with silk screened tiger on it, jeans with elastic waist, and white Avias...and like a visor or something).

Anyway, trendy goofy girl also had a crowning mark on her arm, which was an eggplant tattoo with a fireburst behind it. Seriously. An eggplant tattoo. It's not enough that she is weird based on your trendy girl mullet, or wrinkled crinoline, but now we know that she is absolutely bizarre with her eggplant tattoo.

So, homeless guy accidentally bumps eggplant girl while the car is shifting, and she mouths the words "fuck off". The eggplant girl whose deliberate look was "homeless chic" told an ACTUAL homeless guy to fuck off. Maybe it's because he wore what she wanted to wear that day. So, I declare that homeless chic folks are not allowed to disparage the actual homeless. Just because the fashion sense of the homeless is eons beyond the planned disheveled look of the Williamsburg hipster is no reason to make the homeless feel like lesser beings. It's just plain hypocritical.

But, I do admire the girl for making a vegetable part of her body art. I would love to see more rhubarb and less tribal tatts.


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