Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


The week has flown by with unbridled bridey-ness. I did what I had been waiting to do on Tuesday, which was to walk into school, not say a thing, and have my gigundo bling speak for itself. The roar of the bling was low and mighty. It was awesome.

This weekend, we had a friend stay over, and we attended a reception for my FIANCE'S cousin. (I just like the word, so it gets capitalized). In any case, we didn't know what to do on Sunday, so we decided to go register for gifts. We have no money, so it's a free activity.

We headed down to Bed, Bath, and Beyond in Manhattan. It was President's Day, so everyone else was there too. Russ and I took great delight in the fact that our Bridal consultant loved us and thought we were awesome. We are awesome. We are the happy, funny couple everyone wants to be around. I love that about us.

So anyway, I give Russell the clicky device, and I commence to browsin. I was in the china department when I saw another couple browsin' as well. The male of the dyad was in his mid-twenties, and clearly a Zeta-Phi-O'-Something. He had his blue baseball cap on cleverly askew, and his shirt matched. His girl, a blonde something or other, will henceforth be called miss forgettable. She was probably nice enough, but you couldn't really tell much about her over his loud pontifications.

First off, this is a man over-invested in the angle of his ball-cap. Second, he had a damn opinion about everything. Not that in and of itself having an opinion is a bad thing, but the way he told his darlin' lady about his opinion was to subtly criticize hers, and subtract any self-esteem or independence she may have been exhibiting. While Russ was off in the men's room, I witnessed the man saying, "Ugh, Michelle, it just looks cheap. When I think crystal, I think of something heavy. Don't register for a bunch of crystal shit that looks breakable and takes up too much space."

Anytime this man had a thought, it was begun with a distinct "MICHELLE" and ended with something mildly disparaging. Was askew cap-man the spawn of Satin his-ownself? No sir. He was one of those insidious fellows you hate but cannot for the life of you figure out why. It seemed that wherever we were, so were they. While we were making jokes about salad spinners and tablecloths, Askew was right there with his distinct "MICHELLE". We went to the cafe there, where Askew told Michelle what she was going to have for lunch.

All of this is here to say that thank God my honey has opinions, but does not make me feel stupid for having my own. And thank God I am with someone who can make jokes while we pass the time at what is usually something only the woman cares about. He is a blessing. Now let's all bow our heads and pray for Michelle.


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