The Great Gay-ification of Soda

Tomorrow, our school is having an ethnic potluck for our minority doctoral student association. Last year, I made Choctaw Casserole. This year, I am topping myself by making Choctaw Casserole AND soda pop cake. For those of you sad enough to not know what soda pop cake is, my benevolent self will share it with you now. You bake a white cake, and let it cool (Any white cake will do). Then you poke a lot of holes in it with a fork. Next, you take a can of strawberry soda, stir the bubbles out of it, and pour it over the top. Chill it, and ice it with Cool Whip. It is so easy and trashy. I am sure I have posted about this before. It makes a very yummy cake. The recipe is a souvenir from an ex-boyfriends mom who made the trailer-iest food I have ever had in my life. This one was a keeper.

Anyway, so I go shopping for the three ingredients: Cake, Soda, Cool Whip. I locate ingredients one and three...but where is strawberry soda? I wandered all around Target, and found a bunch of weird-o flavored energy drinks...but no crappy Nehi strawberry soda.

Defeated, I went to Waldbaums (That's New Yorkese for Homeland), in search of the elusive strawberry soda. Any variety. Don't care.

I saw: Tab, Black Cherry Cola, Cranberry Soda, Grape Welch's, and a bunch of other weird Jones Colas. WTF? Where is my trashy soda? There was a fancy bottle that said something like "Diet Pink Lemonade", and "Blue raspberry something or other". Is it so strange to want strawberry soda?

So, I settled on Fanta Pineapple. I have no idea if this is going to suck or not. Frankly, I bought Fanta because it looked like the trashy sodas of my youth. Even the store brand (You know, "Dr. Thunder", "Mountain Lightning", "Red Fear") didn't have any of the crap soda.

Anyway, I blame the gentrification of soda for this unacceptable lack of crappy soda. They probably secretly ban Fresca at their dinner parties, and poo-poo Cheese balls. Does that really sound like any party you want to be at?

See, the thing is, because of my sugar restrictions, I can bake the cake, but I can't eat it. So if the cake sucks, I won't know. But, I won't have to eat it, either. So, everybody wins!