Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Friday, October 14, 2005


There are certain times in a women's life when she butts heads with her mother. I have been fortunate to have a very strong relationship with my mom. I hope that during my teens I wasn't too bratty, or too obnoxious with an attitude of entitlement. I think that most women clash with their moms three times in their lives. One time is the teenage years. Another is after the first baby is born, and you get a lot of unsolicited advice on child rearing. The third is during a wedding. And you guessed it folks, that's what this entry is about.
The reason my mom and I have had few struggles is that we are so alike. We are to the point, smart, compassionate people. If it's not life or death, we aren't that interested. So it surprised me when my un-fussy, uncomplicated, laid-back mom picked out these dresses when we went bridal gown shopping.
Who am I, Lady Di???
I went into David's Bridal over the weekend to look for a gown. I already had one in mind. It was this gorgeous beaded number by Oleg Cassini. They had one for me to try on two sizes too large for me. I was so psyched. So my mom goes poking around, and she keeps coming back to me with these gowns that look like scalloped icing on cakes. I laughed the first time she showed it to me. Then I realized that she was serious. Good lord!
I think part of it was that she was dressing herself up in gowns she would have liked to wear for her wedding. My own attitude toward wedding gowns is that you have to be able to forget you are wearing them but still look awesome. My mother’s attitude, apparently, was that if it’s not smothering you in the dressing room, then it’s not a real bridal gown.
My mom’s friend Kylie was there to help us. She’s closer to my age, and she has been married for about 8 years. She has been to David’s Bridal many, many times. She is also about 6 feet tall. The gowns my mother was choosing were so gigantastic, that Kylie had to assist my mother in carrying them back to the dressing room. As Kylie paraded gown after gown back there, I looked at her and said, “Kai, what am I gonna do? Mom wants me to wear these giant things?” I was starting to get a little bit emotional, because I felt like my mom was just blatantly ignoring my requests. She said, “Let her dress you up. I’ll take pictures. She can always have the pictures of you in the giant gowns, and then you can choose whatever other gown you want.”
To that end, after I had chosen two gowns that are in the running for the big day, I let my mom go back and choose two gowns that had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her. She came back with these dresses that were roughly 20-30 pounds of tulle. It was hilarious. They have these little platforms you stand on to try the gowns on, and I waddled my way out there and tried in vain to climb up to the box. My mom came behind me to fluff out the train in back of the dress, and when she did, pulled me off of the platform. After three times of that same behavior with me breathlessly cracking up, I said, “Mom, every time you do that, you are yanking the bulk of the dress behind me and that’s why I am falling off. You see, I am in fact, attached to the gown. I’m not sure if you could see my head behind all the tulle, but there I am.” Kylie snapped one photo of me where my arms are extended out, and my mom is smiling holding onto my train. I look like I’m doing some kind of ballet move. What is actually happening, however, is that I am gripping the sides of the mirrors to keep myself steady while my mom yanks the train with all of her might. She’s laughing because she is enjoying this, not smiling angelically. In any case, it was educational. I can’t wait to go shopping with my mom again, but you can be damn sure that the consultants will be getting calls from me before hand. I am going to tell them that my mom will choose giant ball gowns for me to wear, but to tell them that unfortunately, they don’t carry them in my size.