Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Friday, November 03, 2006

The stars are all against you, girl, just get back into bed

I had quite the week.

In a fit of brilliance, I managed to purloin my supervisor's keys to the testing office unknowingly. That is, until he called me on Wednesday asking where the keys were. Hmm. On my other key ring. In Brooklyn. I am in Long Island. You are in Queens. Ech.

I offered to drive back and drop them off that night, but he said just to bring them in on Friday. Cool. Still, I felt like a bonehead.

Thursday is the day I have a experiential group with my classmates. What is this you say? Well, it's not like we sit around in drum circle making macrame key fobs, but it's close. Basically, it is supposed to be a safe place for your classmates to reflect your behavior back to you with the idea that we will all be better therapists, if not better friends for it.

OMG, this is what Sartre called hell, right?

Well, I have been okay with the group but reticent that what comes out will cause irrevocable damage to the members and our collegial relationships. Oy Gevalt.

So I was in the hot seat this week. I heard that I am arrogant, too intelligent, maternal, miss perfect, in tune, empathic, and disconnected. It was a round robin of feedback. All the while, I was crying that horrible cry that children make when the sadness overcomes them and they can't catch their breath. My dialogue went something like this, "Wha-wha-what I d-d-d-d-o-o-o-o-n't understa-a-a-a-and is why y-y-y-y-ou couldn't talk to me ea-ea-earlier". Graceful. The whole experience, that I was really trying to be open to, left me feeling like a carcass that had just been picked over. Waddaya mean, that the tigers weren't my friends, said I, the unknowing gazelle.

Then, for poetic justice, I return to work, on the prison unit, far away from my classmates, where I realize that not only did I just get in to work late, but I left my supervisor's keys on a different key ring. Yeah. I had to take the subway all the way back home, then drive back into Queens, head held down, waiting for my lumps.

The afternoon at work was not as crappy as I thought it was going to be, but I stayed at work late to make up for the fact that I had been out most of the morning trying to retrieve those cursed keys.

My husband and I went out for a movie tonight...which was much needed. I will get back on the horse next week, but this week was a bust.