Unique New York

Just like a regular woman, only crankier.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Anger Management

What do you do when you're angry? Do you scream? Take it out on the kids? Take it out on the person you are angry at? Flaming bag of poo?

My mom has taken sublimation to a whole new level. I was introduced to this coping mechanism at an early age, when she would make gift baskets for us kids to give to our teachers. But all was not in the spirit of the holidays. While most of the teachers got lovely things, there were a few she didn't like. Enter in: The Vindictive Gift Giver. This stems from my mother's keen ability to spot a deal. She buys tchotchkeys all year round, preparing these baskets. For the teachers she didn't like, they would receive a crappy Waterford ornament. Mixed signal, no? I mean, it IS Waterford...but ugly Waterford. The recipient was in no position to rebuff the gift. Or, she vindictively re-gifts. Oy.

The other day, she took it to a whole new level. See, I have this uncle, with whom I have no contact. My mom's brother. He constantly floods her with obsessive narcissistic rants, and the latest era of notes contains multiple invocations of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If you were thinking he might be crazy, well, you'd be right. Anyway, so after a long history of our family getting burned by this guy, contact has been ceased. It is not for grudge purposes, so much as safety purposes. Anyway, my mom had it with the condescending "I'll pray for you" notes from this guy, so she sent him a novena card, signed by someone else, saying that WE were praying for HIM. Well, this was the narcissistic injury to beat all injuries, so a few days later, my ailing 91 year old grandmother, who lives with my mom, recieved a letter from him. It asks HER to pray for my mom.

Have you ever heard of such ridiculousness? "No, YOU need God's love!"-"No, YOU need healing!"-"I'll pray for YOU!"-"NO, I'll pray for YOU!"

If he gets an ugly Faberge egg in the mail, you will know he is in deep shit.