Universalities

Let's put aside my New York soliloquys and discuss things that are the same everywhere.

For example, Jenny Craig has a new ad campaign with Kirstie Alley as their giant purple spokesperson. I am fine with that. I have grown past hating her as the Pier 1 spokesperson, and think it's cool that she is casually referring to her own rubenesque-ness, and then calling the audience "chubby" in order to entice them to call Ms. Craig. I am, however, not okay with Kirstie shrieking like a starving Ethiopian and shouting "FETTUCCINI!!!!!!!!" That is annoying, and I don't care who you are.

Also, I have a mental image of skinny people getting really frazzled when Kirstie calls them chubby.

It is a universal fact that television programming sucks between the hours of one pm to three pm. This is the case, coast to coast, unless you're a freak who likes General Hospital. My babysitter used to turn on soap operas during our nap time. I still can't get through opening credits before getting really drowsy.

Those two things I know for sure. That, and everyone loves the George Foreman grill. If you haven't had bacon on that thing, you simply haven't lived, my friend.